


Living a Lie

by Bofur1



Series: The Songs of Our Hearts [7]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Broken Heart, Chastity, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Bofur1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Óin was certain that she loved him. He was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living a Lie

**Author's Note:**

> The song enclosed belongs to Tony Vincent.

Glóin silently slipped his fingers around the edge of his brother’s door and widened the crack so he could peer in. Óin’s right ear, the one that had been injured in the attack on Erabor*, was toward the door, so he didn’t hear Glóin’s movements.

Óin lay sprawled on his bed, hugging his pillow and trembling violently. It was rare that he cried so hard, Glóin knew, so something had to be terribly wrong. Concern overwhelmed Glóin’s wish to be unnoticed and he burst into the room.

“What’s wrong?!” he cried in dismay. Óin whirled, his face tear-streaked.

“Leave me alone, Glóin!” Óin screamed. Glóin took a step back, but remained in the room.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded.

Óin’s eyes welled again, and he couldn’t suppress another sob.

“Is it about...that girl?” Glóin asked in concern. For the life of him he couldn’t remember her name, but he had to get his brother to speak.

Óin wailed, “Her name is Krelina!”

“So it _is_ about her?”

Óin nodded miserably. “She took someone else! I saw her with him today...and...she looked me right in the eyes and told me that I wasn’t good enough.” He curled into himself, moaning into his pillow. “I thought she loved me...”

Glóin felt his heart clench in anger. How dare this girl wound his brother this way? Glóin knew that when Óin loved someone, he loved with everything he had—heart, mind, and soul. This girl had basically just destroyed him emotionally.

Glóin felt very awkward, but carefully he reached over and touched Óin’s back. Trying to ignore the violent tremors he felt through his hand Glóin began rubbing in soothing circles. It was the way their Ama had done it before she died, and after many long moments Glóin felt his brother’s quivering lessen.

They remained in silence for a long time, and then Óin sat up, scrubbing at his cheeks. “Thanks,” he mumbled. Glóin nodded slowly.

Óin closed his eyes as he dragged in a breath. “I guess...it’s over.”

“Aye, I think so,” Glóin agreed somberly.

Óin looked up, a sudden clarity filling his eyes. “I’ve just decided something. I know what I’m going to do when I grow up.”

“What’s that?”

“I won’t marry.” He shook his head slowly. “No, I’ll never marry. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be involved with children. I’ll be an obstetrician. I’ve always liked handling children, so I’ll deliver them.” Óin even managed a half-smile. “Maybe someday I’ll deliver _your_ children, Glóin.”

Glóin swallowed.  That would be a sight to see.

 

* * *

“Wait up!” Glóin shouted. Óin had been wandering through the market with his nose in a book about delivering Dwarf children, and he’d gotten too far ahead.

When Glóin reached his brother he saw that the book had fallen to the ground from Óin’s lifeless fingers. “Óin? What is it?” Glóin asked anxiously as he picked up the book and brushed it off.

“It’s her.” Óin’s voice was hoarse, and even when he swallowed it did little good. “It’s _her_.”

Glóin followed his brother’s wide-eyed gaze and saw a pretty Dwarf lass smiling and laughing with a robust young man. Glóin’s heart clenched as it had when all this had started. He set his jaw.

“C’mon,” he said to Óin through gritted teeth. “There’s no reason to stay and watch them. They’re happy together.” He gripped his brother’s shoulder and turned him, pressing the book into his hands.

As he stared at the cover Óin’s misty eyes cleared, and he swallowed again, nodding mutely. “Alright,” he whispered. Glóin began leading him away, and Óin forced himself not to look back.

 

_I feel so alone now_   
_Each time I look at you._   
_Do you feel no pain?_   
_Where is the realness_   
_That deep-rooted realness you masquerade?_   
_You show the right smile, you got the act down._   
_There've been many-a-night when I have cried on my own._   
_The struggle inside you give me is not unknown._   
  
_You go through the motions_   
_You know the right words to say_   
_You've trained yourself well._   
_You scoff at the heathens,_   
_But deep you inside you are exactly the same._   
_Why?! Why?! Why?!_   
_Is there no difference in the way we should live?_   
_Instead of loving ourselves it's His love we should give._   
_I think you know that._   
  
_I can only imagine what He feels when He looks at us_   
_His hurt is so great as the tears fill His eyes_   
_I know you know about the love He has for me and you._   
_But how can we show others when we're living a lie?_   
  
_How long can this go on?_   
_When will we stop kidding ourselves_   
_And face the real world?_   
_We've got to do something_   
_And show them the one true love that we've felt_   
_My head and my heart these convictions they share:_   
_We've got to throw down the false painted faces we wear_   
_And show the one above._   
  
_When will you stop,_   
_Stop living this lie?_   
_Don't you know_   
_It hurts me inside?_   
_When will you admit,_   
_admit and realize_   
_that you're living a lie?_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I wrote this well. Please comment and tell me how I did!
> 
>  
> 
> *For the full story on this see 'The Fire was Red'.


End file.
